By Cindy Li
Labelling yourselves only puts you “In The Box.” Instead of I am who I am defined by this and that, let yourself explore who you truly are. Be without thinking because all things change, there is no permanence in life. As change is the only constant.
“New names unknown, old names gone,” from the book When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi reminded me of our finite existence. How vulnerable life is as a living breathing mortal. So I decide to live my life while I’m still at it with my truest self. Listen. Getting in touch with your “Self” is the best gift you can give yourself. It gave me a new depth of gratitude and contentment, it will to you too. Not that I’ve lived long enough to experience the bitter and sweet the world has got to offer. Fun fact, I’m 18. I wrote this genuinely because I want to share with you the whole new perspective you can untapped by a mindful reflection once every while. We are so busy living that we often become disconnected from our “Self.”
Be Like Water
I have a friend miles away, sharing the same spark in mindfulness and growth. Eric is a teacher and a meditation practitioner. A delightful soul he is. He has a favourite quote “Be like water.” Water is fluid, that’s obvious! But not so quick! Here’s my favourite quote by Lao Tzu, an ancient philosopher. “Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.” Hence, lessen your control over many aspects of life and embrace the flow, be it a good one or a bad one. Stop resisting, and you will feel the weight of burdens washes away. Conforming is not giving up, do not mistake it with weakness. It is in fact, bravery. To be strong enough to face the harsh reality instead of attempting to change the unchangeable and resist.
Categories & Labels
The concept of favouring control associates itself with categorizing and labelling. This act comes so naturally to us because “Order” grants a sense of comfort, and security. But as much as I wish for what I expect of my future, life can never be certain. To many, this “Unknown” is dreadful. Take the most simple example, many define themselves as either an introvert or extrovert. It gives an identity that allows us to be bubbled in a comfort zone. Unconsciously avoiding what feels unnatural, not letting one tad bit of ourselves land in an unknown and possibly unwanted scenarios that associate with it.
Moreover, it does feel nice to gather in a community of like-minded people. There’s a sense of belonging.
“We’re in the same boat!”
“I feel you.”
“I’m not alone.”
Everyone wants to belong somewhere, no one including the most independent solitude person wants to be left out. After all, we are social animals. It is important to understand yourselves, but it does not mean you should conform to a confining idea of who you deem you are. Only by knowing yourselves, you can grow. But again, like I said there’s a limit to our designed society. These categories aren’t perfect and will never be.